Multiverse News

Eleven people were incapacitated early this morning while in line waiting for the new Apple iPhone 59 to be released. Most had been camped out in line for four days straight waiting to get their hands Apple’s latest product. The eleven diagnosed with wetware link synapse collapse syndrome. All of the victims had the previous version of the Apple iBrain Link implanted. Apple had pushed an over-the-air update the week of the product release. The company declined to comment. All eleven were admitted to area hospitals and are recovering. Security experts have reported vulnerabilities for the iBrain product line for several years, and Apple has released many updates to correct those issues. Neurologists and researchers have reported several physical wetware interface design issues as well. Investigators from the NIH, professional biohackers, forensic pathologists, and computer forensics experts are investigating. Several lawsuits are pending, but the Terms of Service for the iBrain Link specifically state that the user's thoughts are the property of Apple, Inc., precluding the filing of those lawsuits.