Multiverse News

The East Lucas High School robotics team from Joliet, Illinois, surprised their fellow competitors at the third annual Joliet Robotics Invitational with a humanoid Elvis Presley. Robo-Elvis, as the robot is affectionately known, emulates the hip-swinging movements of the late “King of Rock and Roll”, as well as his singing voice. Robo-Elvis, despite its rhythmic and hypnotic movement around the playing field, was quickly disoriented with a blow from RipSaw, a more aggressive and better armed destructor-style robot from a rival high school. After that, RipSaw tore Robo-Elvis apart with several quick slices from its primary weapon. The lopsided match was a strong win for RipSaw. Robo-Elvis, scattered about the floor at the end of the match, was not able to continue in the competition. A spokesperson for the East Lucas team expressed their both their overwhelming delight with Robo-Elvis's abilities with its wide vocal range and erotic gyrations and bitter disappointment in Robo-Elvis's lackluster performance in competitive battle. However, the team is vowing to return next year with a Madonna-bot in a conical corset or maybe a “Weird A”l Yankovic robot wielding an accordion.