Multiverse News

In an effort to subsidize the costs of holding the Iowa caucuses, the Iowa Republican Party partnered with the Iowa Fast Food Restaurateurs Association to hold the Iowa Fast Food caucuses simultaneously with the Iowa Republican caucuses. In addition to intense discussions on candidates, counting up alleged crimes committed by candidates, and ultimately selecting candidates based on popularity rather than fitness for office or potential years in prison, the discussions will also include a round of discussions, taste-testing, shouting matches over how fries should be cut, and the selection of fast food favorites. Arby's, with its “We have the Meats!” campaign, is expected to lead the Republican pack with a thirst for meaty options. Panera Bread, the fast casual yet somewhat snooty bagel place, has launched a new menu item to curry favor with Iowans. The “Corn Chowder Bowl” was released ahead of the caucuses and is an Iowa corn-based thick soup with a mix of cheese, potatoes, and Iowa corn-fed beef served in a bread bowl. Shake Shack, a New York City based restaurant is an unlikely contender as it has no restaurants in Iowa, and it is from the Democrat-ruined safe haven city of New York, has increased its efforts to at least place high in the rankings. Shake Shack assembled several kitchens and flew in its best chefs and managers for the taste tests. All the restaurants are attempting to make their actual food look more like their advertising. Some are even resorting to increasing their wages to attract high-end chefs seeking a career change.