Multiverse News

Michael Bolton, singer, songwriter, and famously described as a “no talent assclown” was arraigned at the International Criminal Court (ICC) in The Hague to face charges of Crimes Against Humanity, specifically Article 7 of the Rome Statute. Bolton's 1991 cover of Percy Sledge's “When a Man Loves a Woman” reached number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and an estimated 3.2 million people died from repeatedly listening to that song. Takotsubo Syndrome, or Broken Heart Syndrome, was the primary of those deaths according to investigators, pathologists, and forensics experts. Prosecutors at the ICC have spent more than two decades building the case against Bolton, and they believe that they have specific evidence pointing to criminal intent on the part of Bolton. Lawyers for Bolton are planning a vigorous defense and will use the singer's charitable activities, many character witnesses, and his catalog of less lethal songs as evidence. On Monday, Bolton entered a not guilty plea in front of the court. Today, several music reviewers republished their original 1991 negative reviews of the “Time, Love & Tenderness” album and denounced the singer for his callous and reckless song choice. Several radio stations played the album as a tribute to those that died, triggering a new wave of death.