Multiverse News

In a town hall in Berlin, New Hampshire, Nikki Haley made a clear and decisive move to capture the Confederate Civil War Reenactor vote. When asked about the cause of the Civil War, she replied with a dubious answer about the disagreement on states' rights in the US federal system and completely forgot to mention that slavery may have been an important part of the “disagreement”. Haley is a former governor of South Carolina, which also happened to be the first state to secede from the United States—you know, for slavery. While she removed the Confederate flag from the state capital, she also praised the flag as a representation of “service and sacrifice and heritage” for Southern slave owners. Sensing an opportunity to win over the Confederate reenactors that she lost for removing the Confederate flag, Haley chose to word her answer in a way to clearly bring back and rally the vital Confederate Civil War Reenactors voting block. The progressive group of reenactors, known as “The Sons of the Confederacy”, emerged from tents on a historic battlefield after receiving news via telegraph of Mrs. Haley's exploits and her town hall answer and wrote a letter to her praising her support for the Confederate States, offering her a “get out the vote” campaign with its members just as soon as the Battle of Gettysburg is concluded, and inviting her to participate in their next battle by portraying General Robert E. Lee. Far-Far-right members of the group, known as the “Real Sons of the Confederacy”, criticized the progressive group for inviting Mrs. Haley, saying she was not white enough or male enough to bring glory and honor to General Lee.