Multiverse News

After multiple attacks on Houthi-controlled territory in Yemen under Operation Prosperity Guardian, which was almost called “Operation Protect Floating Capitalism”, Houthi forces were left with no working weapons systems or ammunition. Undeterred and still waiting on the next shipment from Iran, the Houthi leadership turned to Yemen's fifth-largest export as a new, unexpected, and potentially lethal weapon—non-fillet frozen fish. Yemen exports both fresh and frozen fish, but frozen fish were found to be more lethal after some backyard experimentation. The Houthis have long used fish as a method of torture for years. Fresh fish are good for extracting information. Frozen fish are better for covering up war crimes as a confounding and disgusting accident scene. Taking a play from the Ukrainian Army which used US-supplied frozen turkeys as projectiles against Russian tanks with devastating results, the Houthi rebels are building several fish-based launch systems, such as trebuchets, ballistas, large crossbows, canons, and even a primitive rail gun. Frozen fish are generally more aerodynamic in flight than frozen turkeys, so the Houthis expect to be able to accurately target ships at sea. The US Department of Defense announced that it was analyzing the threat from these new weapons but stated that they have no defensive weapons system designed to counter frozen fish projectiles. Satellite intel shows increased fishing activity in the Gulf of Aden by Yemeni-flagged vessels. The Central Intelligence Agency believes that the Houthis will have enough frozen fish ammunition stockpiled and new weapons systems ready in the next two weeks.