Multiverse News

Brendan Richards, Biden's opponent in the Presidential race, has fired his first legal salvo in the race. His party filed a legal challenge in the state of Indiana seeking to bar Biden from the presidential race due to his advanced age and membership in the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), a known militant group of elderly individuals which advocates for the increase in working young people to pay for their Social Security. While the US Constitution does not define an upper age on the Presidency, the fourteenth amendment allows for disqualification for insurrection or rebellion. AARP leadership has been investigated by the FBI but not been formally indicted for insurrection yet. However, many AARP leaders have been vocal and instrumental in inciting violence against elected representatives and the federal government. In a lawsuit filed in the Southern District of Indiana, Biden is listed as unindicted co-conspirator in “advocating mandatory and unfair labor practices on younger workers to forcibly increase tax revenues for benefit of the elderly elite and their unwavering commitment to the accumulation of wealth.” Since no militant actions or incitement to violence have been directly traced to the President, this filing will likely be thrown out immediately, but it will likely cause younger and independent voters to reconsider their choice. The AARP held a press conference to dispute the accusations made in the lawsuit. AARP leadership attempted to distance the organization from a splinter group of hostile retirees from the prepper community, known as the “Senescent Survivors”. That group believes in “Senior Replacement Theory”, a theory that younger people will eventually replace older people. At their raucous survivor rallies, members can be seen with their walkers, comfy slippers, and Walmart tiki torches and heard chanting, “You will eventually replace us!”.